Building The Brain With Love

Building the Brain

Building the Brain with Love: How to convey unconditional love to small children

Of course, you love your child! But is your child getting the message?

Until the ages of 7 and 8, children are egocentric which means that they relate all of their experiences to themselves, regardless of whether those experiences are positive or negative. That means that they believe that everything that happens to them or around them is their fault. Children are highly sensitive and can pick up on even the most subtle things that their parents do and say and use that to build a story about themselves. If it goes unchecked, that story becomes reinforced and ingrained throughout the child’s life and ultimately limits their potential for what they can achieve.

Prof. Makoto Shichida was revolutionary in the fact that he designed a holistic method of educating children and parents with love and acceptance at its core. The results of this method are extraordinary; super-powered memories, high-speed mental mathematics, musical and language abilities that border on genius and masterful execution of anything they can put their mind to. When children feel safe to be themselves and feel loved unconditionally, there is no stopping what they can do. And when parents lean in close to nurture that connection while their child is learning, it is a very powerful thing.

As an instructor of the Shichida Method, I have seen first-hand how a parent’s ability to express acceptance and love to their child in a way that they can understand directly affects their ability to learn and improve. Sometimes parents might not realise that their excitement when their child first starts expressing amazing abilities can squash them faster than they appeared, or that their passing comment about how glad they are that their child doesn’t exhibit undesirable behaviours can impact their own child’s self-esteem. Small children are more sensitive and intelligent than we realise. If they feel pressured to achieve this can block them from wanting to learn for themselves, and if they hear their parent comparing them to others, they wonder if their parent would still love them if they were to behave differently.

As a parent, it’s impossible to do everything right. After all, our generation and those before us most likely did not receive the healthy parenting that we are now striving to provide for our children. Keep in mind that positive parenting is reasonably new, so please be gentle with yourself as you learn and unlearn habits along the way. Every time you move towards fostering trust and acceptance between you and your child, you are making incredible leaps forward that were previously unheard of. I hope that by providing you with these tips below, you will remember that it’s never too late or too far gone to strengthen the bond you share with your child.

Here are some ways that Prof. Shichida found effective for conveying unconditional love to small children:

It is important to accept your child as he/she is and say, “___” I am happy just because you are here.
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

By telling your child that you are happy just spending time with them, you let your child know that they are enough just as they are.

“Five Minute Suggestions” and “8-second hugs” promote building the brain healthily, develop children’s hearts and are a wonderful, secret child-rearing method.
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

Prof. Shichida’s Five Minute Suggestions are positive affirmations said from the parent to their child as they are starting to fall asleep. This is a great one if you have had a particularly rough day with your child and want to let them know you love them no matter what.

Try this Love Suggestion as you pat your child off to sleep:

“I know you are asleep but a part of you is awake and listening to me.

– I love you so much.

– You never have to feel lonely because my heart is always with you.

– I am proud that you are my child, you are a treasure to our family.

– You are enough.

– When you wake up your heart will know how much I love you.”

Value acceptance more than praise
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

While praising specific behaviours is a highly effective technique for motivating your child to improve, Prof. Shichida says that acceptance is even more important. When your child is expressing negative emotions or has made a mistake, remaining neutral and present with them will go a long way.

If you are stuck in a pattern of frustration with your child or are finding it difficult to express love in a way that your child can understand it, Prof. Makoto shares this advice:

If you occasionally go back to the starting point when you were blessed with your child “What a wonderful treasure our family has been given. That is enough,” words of love will naturally emerge
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

Subtle things to watch out for that give your child the message that your love is conditional:

  • Comparing your child to others
  • Making casual rejecting/critical comments about others in front of your child
  • Pressuring your child to achieve or perform
  • Always looking to what your child could be instead of seeing them for who they are right now
  • Starting a sentence with “I love you, but…”
  • Focusing on your child’s weak points
  • Being a perfectionist
  • Treating your child’s emotions as irrational, unacceptable or low priority
  • Make black and white labelling statements about your child instead of their behaviour.
    “You are beautiful/smart/funny/naughty/wrong/disobedient” or “My oldest is the studious one and my youngest is the clown”

As we learn what Prof. Shichida found effective for conveying unconditional love to small children, Shichida Australia establishes a strong foundation for building the brain with love for learning and life during the Sensitive Period when children are learning at their fastest and easiest.

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