Building The Brain With Love

Building the Brain

How to convey unconditional love to small children:

Of course, you love your child! But is your child getting the message?

Until the ages of 7 and 8, children are egocentric which means that they relate all of their experiences to themselves, regardless of whether those experiences are positive or negative. That means that they believe that everything that happens to them or around them is their fault. Children are perceptive and absorb every subtle action and word from their parents. They construct narratives about themselves based on these observations. If left unaddressed, this narrative becomes deeply ingrained, limiting a child’s potential and achievements in life.

Building the Brain with Love and Acceptance

Prof. Makoto Shichida revolutionized education by creating a holistic method centered on love and acceptance for children and parents. This method yields remarkable results. Children develop super-powered memories. They exhibit high-speed mental mathematics abilities. Their musical and language skills border on genius. They demonstrate masterful execution in any task they set their minds to. When children feel safe to be themselves and feel loved unconditionally, there is no stopping what they can do. When parents lean in close to nurture that connection while their child is learning, it is a very powerful thing.

As a Shichida Method instructor, I’ve witnessed firsthand how parental love and acceptance impact a child’s learning and development. Expressing these emotions in a way that a child can understand has a direct correlation to their progress. At times, parents may unknowingly hinder their child’s progress. Expressing excessive excitement over their abilities can unintentionally discourage them. Passing comments about their lack of undesirable behaviors can also affect their self-esteem. Small children are more sensitive and intelligent than we realise. Feeling pressured to achieve can hinder a child’s intrinsic motivation to learn. When parents compare them to others, they may question their parent’s love based on their behavior.

As a parent, it’s impossible to do everything right. After all, our generation and those before us most likely did not receive the healthy parenting that we are now striving to provide for our children. Keep in mind that positive parenting is reasonably new, so please be gentle with yourself as you learn and unlearn habits along the way. Every time you move towards fostering trust and acceptance between you and your child, you are making incredible leaps forward that were previously unheard of. I hope that by providing you with these tips below, you will remember that it’s never too late or too far gone to strengthen the bond you share with your child.

Here are some ways that Prof. Shichida found effective for building the brain and conveying unconditional love to small children:

It is important to accept your child as he/she is and say, “___” I am happy just because you are here.
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

By telling your child that you are happy just spending time with them, you let your child know that they are enough just as they are.

“Five Minute Suggestions” and “8-second hugs” promote building the brain healthily, develop children’s hearts and are a wonderful, secret child-rearing method.
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

Prof. Shichida’s Five Minute Suggestions are positive affirmations said from the parent to their child as they are starting to fall asleep. This is a great one if you have had a particularly rough day with your child and want to let them know you love them no matter what.

Try this Love Suggestion as you pat your child off to sleep:

“I know you are asleep but a part of you is awake and listening to me.

– I love you so much.

– You never have to feel lonely because my heart is always with you.

– I am proud that you are my child, you are a treasure to our family.

– You are enough.

– When you wake up your heart will know how much I love you.”

Value acceptance more than praise
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

While praising specific behaviours is a highly effective technique for motivating your child to improve, Prof. Shichida says that acceptance is even more important. When your child is expressing negative emotions or has made a mistake, remaining neutral and present with them will go a long way.

If you are stuck in a pattern of frustration with your child or are finding it difficult to express love in a way that your child can understand it, Prof. Makoto shares this advice:

If you occasionally go back to the starting point when you were blessed with your child “What a wonderful treasure our family has been given. That is enough,” words of love will naturally emerge
– Prof. Makoto Shichida

Subtle things to watch out for that give your child the message that your love is conditional:

  • Comparing your child to others
  • Making casual rejecting/critical comments about others in front of your child
  • Pressuring your child to achieve or perform
  • Always looking to what your child could be instead of seeing them for who they are right now
  • Starting a sentence with “I love you, but…”
  • Focusing on your child’s weak points
  • Being a perfectionist
  • Treating your child’s emotions as irrational, unacceptable or low priority
  • Make black and white labelling statements about your child instead of their behaviour.
    “You are beautiful/smart/funny/naughty/wrong/disobedient” or “My oldest is the studious one and my youngest is the clown”

As we learn what Prof. Shichida found effective for conveying unconditional love to small children, Shichida Australia establishes a strong foundation for building the brain with love for learning and life during the Sensitive Period when children are learning at their fastest and easiest.

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